Forgiving

Standard
You cannot judge a book by its cover. Everyone has gone through something.  This is going to be one of those posts that is filled with information that many people don’t really know about me, but it is completely necessary for my growth and development as a person.  I have been holding in a lot of anger and resent for a specific person who hasn’t directly been in my life in a positive way since I was around 13.
As many of you can guess, this man is my father. I owe him the respect and dignity of calling him that because no matter what I do I can’t change that simple fact. He did a great job in providing for me, and that would be where the good and kind words stop.
The man was a dictator, and an unreasonable one at that. I could go on for pages and paragraphs about some of the completely ridiculous rules he imposed, horrible statements he has made and just the general pain he caused me. I say that only because it is not my place to speak the opinions and feelings that other members of my family may have.
At this point I have to forgive you. Believe it or not that is the kind of person I am. The apple has fallen far from the tree. From this point on I vow to no longer have any ill feelings or thoughts toward you. Why? Simply because you aren’t worth it. That mental energy could go towards far more important things.  I’m going to list a few things specifically, some are just a little bit too personal to put out there.
I forgive you, for those days you refused to let me go workout.
I forgive you, for trying to tell me that I would never make anything of myself through basketball.
I forgive you, for telling me that I was wasting my time with basketball because I wasn’t going to make it to the NBA.
I forgive you, for telling me that I was a failure because I didn’t have aspirations to be a lawyer or a doctor.
I forgive you, for coming to only three of my high school basketball games.
I forgive you, for not calling me on my birthdays.
I forgive you, for not attending my college graduation.
I forgive you, for having no emotional or supportive presence in my life.
I forgive you, for just generally not caring and never teaching me many of key things a father is supposed to teach a son.
I did make it though, with no recent thanks to you. I graduated from a prestigious institution which I was given the opportunity to attend as a result of basketball in addition to signing my first professional contract . (Yeah, definitely did nothing with basketball, it was a huge waste of time.)   Oh yeah, Happy Birthday.

60/90

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s